Tag Archives: blogging

Motto In Life

Can you be over prepared?

On a Sunday evening I have a whole host of rituals I go through to make my week ahead more positive and more creative. I write out my to do lists, I tidy, set alarms and check out my clothes for the day ahead. All these little things help give me a restful sleep and by extension a good start to Monday morning filled with coffee, brilliant ideas and a strength that is ready to take on anything.

I have a motto in life. Knowing the little things are taken care of makes you ready for all the big things that might strike. It’s not the prettiest or hard hitting of mottos but it’s one that usually steers me well.

Life gets in the way.

it seems no matter how much you prepare there are natural anxieties that are always get in the way. As the quiet of night set in there were those doubting voices.

“What good are you?”

“Who cares anyway?

“You are nowhere near where you hope to be.”

When you are alone in the dark these voices ring really loudly. You can’t sleep for them because they have caused your adrenaline to rush and your heart won’t slow. You can deny all these doubts but they don’t go away because they are your own doubts and you have to believe them, right?

With the result you finally drift off in the small hours resulting in very little sleep and waking the next morning not only feeling miserable, having battled yourself all night but feeling tired.

It’s okay to doubt.

Everyone faces those self doubts. It is true that we can be our own worst critic. What is most important is how we handle them. Personally, I have had some real self destructive episodes over the years as a result of this. I have also seen loved ones fall foul to it as well. So, now when those niggling voices start to get louder I note to myself three things I am looking forward to doing that day. These don’t have have to be any major events. They can be something simple like taking a walk in the park, or reading a few chapters of a good book or having a chat with a partcular someone.

Knowing the little things are taken care of makes you ready for all the big things that might strike. That is my motto and knowing there are little things to enjoy throughout the day goes a long way to easing the stress.

So I urge you to enjoy the little things. I urge you to ignore those doubts and I hope you all have the best week ahead.


If you have been suffering from anxiety or depression visit mind.org.uk for more information on the support available.


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As a cult deprogrammer, John Reynolds has brought many a lost soul home. When someone close to him joins the Church of St Wigan, every skill he has ever garnered will be called upon to face its zealous leader.  

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Changing The World

If there were three changes to the world you could make, what would they be?

It’s an interesting question. It’s one that was posed to me the other day and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. There are so many things about the current world we live in that need to change. It’s actually quite difficult to pick out just three of them. There are so many injustices that need to be corrected, so many protections needing to be made for the future and so many great things that go unnoticed or unappreciated. I guess when it really comes down it those are the three key things that I think need to be changed.

Correct the Injustices

I’m not claiming I have all the answers, nor do I have the singular authority to make these changes I pose but if It can at least open up the conversation then that’s a step in the right direction, isn’t it?

Injustices are everywhere we look. I live in Scotland. We are a beautiful country with a wealth of history and breath taking landscapes. We have a terrific National Heath system and a GDP that makes us a comparatively rich country. Despite all that there are still people here who require food banks. Children in our big cities are going hungry and that doesn’t make any sense to me at all. Keeping our children fed should be the very basic of what a country with such standing offers. Don’t get me wrong, the food banks are a terrific thing and they have helped thousand but something has gone wrong along the way if a country like ours needs them. As I said, I’m no politician nor do I have any truly educated understanding of a country’s economy but that, should the option arise, is an injustice I would very much like to correct.

Rather than football rivalries or arguing over whether or not a gay couple should get married can’t we look at why working families should still require help to feed their children? According to Trussel Trust the use of food banks had risen by almost 80% over the past five years (as of 6th January 2020).

This is a huge injustice for me. There are those who would argue that the system is being manipulated and taken advantage of by those who don’t need it and I dare say for some that is true but to change our world we need to consider the most vulnerable people around us.

Protect our future.

We’re not going to be around forever and if the rate at which we are destroying this planet is anything to go by the earth won’t be either. There have always been fluctuations in temperatures since time began but the rate at which these changes have occurred in the last hundred years is unprecedented. According to NASA ‘Most of the warming occurred in the past 40 years, with the seven most recent years being the warmest.’

I don’t know about you folks but I really don’t fancy setting up shop on a new planet. I have a real phobia about travelling into space. I would also like to live out my life knowing there is still resources and beauty to pass on to the next generations.

Thankfully, there is a lot of work being done already to help correct this or at least do some damage control. If I could wave a wand and fix this, whether it be through offering more stable solutions, cleaner fuels or bringing all those extinct animals back from the dead I would.

Celebrate the achievements that go unnoticed.

Sure, there are many things in our world that need fixing. We can all do our part. We can donate to food banks or volunteer. We can plant a tree or reduce our own carbon footprint. It does real good to know that there are others who have thought about these things. There are men, women and children across the globe who are already working on their three ways they would change the world. Most of them you wouldn’t hear of. They quietly make their contribution that we will all benefit from. The last way I would change the world Is to make sure their efforts didn’t go unnoticed. To the little kid who takes time out to pick trash up off your street, to the mum who takes care of everyone else’s families as well as her own, to the man who attends climate change conferences to learn and ultimately act, I hear you! We all hear you. Little by little they are changing the world and in our own way we can too.


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The Soundtrack Of Life

I am such a person that I spend a lot of my time stuck inside my own head. I’m either focusing on work, relaxing from work, adding some noise to my surroundings or I’m adding some joviality to a situation. Either way all of these instances involve music. I spend a huge part of my day with headphones on. When I’m trying to focus I use music to drown out all else. When I want to take a walk I put on headphones and can ramble for miles. What better way to keep the boredom of a long train journey at bay than by – yes, you guessed it – putting on headphones. With this in mind it gave me cause to think of the part music plays in all our lives.

What kind of music do you like?

It’s hard to find someone that doesn’t like music. it’s such a varied thing that there is surely something for everyone. From cheesy pop to death metal and everything in between there is a soundtrack for all kinds of situations. I guess that’s why movies and television shows use soundtracks to really capture the mood of the scene. Have you ever taken a scene and given it a different kind of soundtrack? it really changes the tone of the scene. Music can be beautiful audible poetry. It can also offer such lyrical genius as, “Who let the dogs out? Woof, woof, woof woof.” Or, “let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel.” (Probably showing my age with those examples there but you get the point).

What does that song make you think of?

Another thing about music is it can be a great memory trigger. Those carefully constructed notes go a long way to bringing all kinds of images to your head. They can make you remember a person or a place. As you listen along all the other senses are called into action. You can taste it, smell it, feel it. You can see the face of someone you haven’t seen for years as though they are standing right in front of you. For creative writers like myself it’s a great tool for picturing scenes, giving characters their personalities and really locking down what kind of emotion you want a scene to portray. I do this now quite habitually. It was on advice from my fellow writer, great friend and mentor that I do this. He himself is a director and musician so he knows all too well the importance of soundtrack.

Dance to your own tune.

The most important thing about music, for me, is how much it lets you explore. Sure you can be stuck on a crowded train into the city but stick on those headphones you can be transported to a memory of a night out with friends. If you’re at the gym and down want to be distracted by how slow the timer on the treadmill is going you stick on those headphones and suddenly you’ve ran your way through three whole songs. If you are hurt, push play on that song and let it guide your emotions. Music is a wonderful thing I can’t even begin to imagine the cold, silent world we would live in without it. So tell me, what does music do for you?


When, cult deprogrammer, John Reynolds, loses someone close to him to the Church of St Wigan, he will stop at nothing to bring them home. He’ll have to call on every skill he has to pull from the clutches of the zealous church leader. A pandering con man is all he has to help him. How far must a man fall before the climb back up becomes too steep. Praise Wigan!

AVAILABLE MAY 14TH

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Socially Awkward

The past year has brought challenges for all of us, some challenges we never expected to face in our life time. One of my biggest challenges was being separated from my niece and nephews for such a long time. Normally where I would see them almost every week I became nothing but a pixelated face on a screen. It is tough, I don’t mind telling you. The use of modern technology is great and all but nothing can quite replace human contact.

This got me thinking about society in general. As we become such a distant bunch (global pandemic not withstanding) is the art of intimacy becoming a thing of the past? I call it an art because it really is an art form when you think about it. You need the right approach. You need the right mind set. Like a lot of other art though is it becoming far more digitalised? People are more comfortable sending a text message than chatting on the phone (admittedly myself included).

But then this crazy train we called life pulls into an unexpected platform and the option of physical contact is taking away from us. That’s when we miss it the most. That’s when we crave more than just a text message. Video chats give you the essence of speaking to another person but it is all virtual reality at the end of the day. We need that social contact no matter how introverted you may be.

What I have taken from this experience is that no matter how much we distance ourselves from human contact, when ironically it’s never been easier to connect with fellow human beings, we are all animals at heart. We need our loved ones around us, no matter who that is to us. After a long year of lock down in Scotland I know I will be wanting to hug my little babies.


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Am I the A**hole?

Recently I’ve found a hobby of the ‘Am I the asshole?’ subreddit. If you’re not familiar it’s where people put scenarios they’ve found themselves in and they ask the internet whether they are the asshole or not for whatever it is they’ve done. We all know how much of a forgiving place internet forum comment sections can be but there are those rare gems that actually offer some real insight. That’s not the reason I’m addicted to it though. The addiction comes from getting the popcorn and reading the mightier than thou responses.

Either way it got me thinking of some scenarios in my own life where I may have been the asshole and not realised it. One particular event in mind happened some time back. Someone mentioned his disapproval of James Bond being played by a black woman to me. I explained that 007 was a codename anyway and it didn’t really matter all that much how the character was portrayed as long as the writing was good and the actor fulfilled their role. Sounds reasonable, right? Where I might be the asshole was how I responded. I was already in a foul mood about something else (what that is is irrelevant) and so I snapped. I had no patience for listening to what was no doubt going to be a racist, misogynistic argument against ‘ruining the classics.’ This person had never watched or read anything James Bond so their opinion either way was kind of moot.

So there you have it. I felt I was just making my point. Internet strangers may say I was nipping someone’s head off when they were just offering an opinion.

So what do you think, folks? Was I the asshole? Do you have any instances you would like to put to the court of public internet forum opinion?


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Cult deprogrammer is on his way to Hathfield Bay to extract a loved one from the Church of St Wigan.

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Overcoming fear

We all have those little things that make us anxious, right? From a little bit of the old butterflies in the stomach right up to shaking fear. In biology terms it’s called the ‘flight or fight’ response and it’s seen across the entire animal kingdom. Let’s take a moment and consider the human condition. Some people are a little socially anxious. Some people have irrational fears of tomatoes. Some folks live their lives with a constant dread hanging over them. If you’re one of those latter I am truly sorry for that and I hope by reading these words you can find some comfort.

“You have to face your fears.”

Facing your fears is the only way to get over them. This is a platitude we will all be familiar with. It’s no modern advice. I’m not saying it isn’t good advice. Sometimes what it takes is to step up, look that fear in the eye and say, “I’m not going to let you hold me back any longer.”

Some folks need to put themselves out there and trust that our fellow humans are more welcoming than assumed. Some folks need to put a traumatic past behind them. Some folks need to just hold that tomato and know that it’s not going to eat them. Either way facing up to it is key. You might be thinking , that’s easier to say than it is to practice. Fears are fears for a reason, no matter what you’re afraid of.

“I’m not accepting this anymore.”

The first thing you need to ask yourself is whether or not you are done with the fear holding you back. It’s up to you to say you no longer accepting it. Take the risk, be bold, don’t hold yourself back because of the anxiety. I know from experience that that anxiety is lying to you. It would have you believe that you are safer being a little bit less of yourself which is never true. It would convince you that what you have to contribute to the world isn’t good enough. This is also a lie.

I’m no expert. I’m no therapist and I have sure faced things in my life that made me afraid. How I see it though is if we open up the discussions on what makes us afraid and really remove the stigma of anxiety we can all stop putting so much pressure on ourselves.

“Let’s remove the stigma of anxiety.”

I am absolutely terrified of clowns for what it’s worth. This wasn’t helped by my older brothers telling me as a youngster that clowns were hiding in my room. Then again Stephen King’s IT is one of my favourites so I’m a complicated creature! Each time I have to speak publicly I’m always at least a little nervous. When I’m waiting on feedback on stories I can be a wreck. We all have our shortcomings but let’s face those fears together. Let’s say we’re no longer going to let them consume them no matter how large or small they are.


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time to kill

“All roads lead to the same place in the end.”

A question was posed to me the other day from a friend. If you were told that you only had until the end of the week to live the rest of your life, what would you do?

This isn’t a new question. What we would do with the hypothetical time we have left is something humans have pondered for a long time. However, given just a week, what would I choose do?

First and foremost I would obviously want to see my loved ones. I would want to do everything that makes me happy. Usually I find these are the simple things like my favourite books, movies, walks. A week is not a lot of time and although the big bucket list experiences like sky diving or bungee jumping are great for considering, I believe to make that week the best ever it wouldn’t be spent rushing around trying to find some last minute thrill. It would be found by doing the things that I’ve always done that made me smile.

You don’t have to look far outwith your own surroundings to find those things that are worthwhile. The truth is there isn’t just a week. There is a lifetime. If you want to seek those big thrill bucket list items then now’s your time. Now’s your time to do the things that you’ve always wanted to do. Given the current lock down situation obviously things are limited but you can plan those experiences. You can do all those things you always wanted to do. In the meantime, take a look around yourself. If you had the week how much of what you do now would you still do? Look for the things in your daily life, the small things, that make you smile. They are the most important.


Coming Spring 2021

How far must a man fall before the climb back up becomes too steep?

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responsibility to others

Turner’s Syndrome occurs in 1 in about 2500 live female births across the globe.”

I count myself blessed in life. It is a pleasure to be able to do what I love most. With those blessings comes a responsibility. I believe it is my responsibility to play my part and support my TS sisters in achieving their full potential. When I was a little girl, heading into hospital for my second surgery I was terrified. My gran knitted me a rag doll to cheer me up and keep me company. So it was the charity Ragdolls UK was born from this same sense of comfort and support we are hoping to bring to as many TS girls and their families.

As a small charity Ragdolls UK has raised awareness and provided support groups across the UK but there is still much to be done. 2020 provided its challenges to say the least and 2021 is still going tough. However, it has made us more determined than ever to extend our reach, expand the support we can offer and do our part in assuring girls with TS receive the friendship and advice they need. With your help we can fight against the restrictions caused by COVID19 and be there for any and all who need us.

Fundraising sponsors On The Merch with customised goodies to suit all tastes!

Despite occurring in 1 in about 2500 girls and women across the world there are still so many who have never heard of the condition. The doctor’s waiting room can be a terrifying place when you have been diagnosed. There are so many questions to ask. There may be so many things you are told you can’t or won’t be able to do. Ragdolls UK aims to be a friendly environment away from that where we look at what you can do because one thing I’ve learned over the years is that my TS sisters are some of the most resilient people there are.

“Turner’s Syndrome is caused by the partial or complete loss (monosomy) of the second sex chromosome.”

So whilst I am blessed I have a responsibility. I can’t do much but I can certainly do my part and be there for the TS sisters and family members who need me.


For more information visit www.ragdollsuk.com

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So, what now?

“This too shall pass.”

It’s been quite the year, hasn’t it?

For most people this Christmas has been something quite different. For me being unable to see my little niece and nephew has been tough. 2020 will be forever remembered as a year of struggling but I don’t want to dwell on that. What I want to do is look to the future and think of the positive changes that a new year always brings.

Has there been a year like 2020 where we have been able to see just how strong and resiliant we are? Not to my recollection anyway, so with that in mind let’s approach 21 with the knowledge that we are still standing.

Like every new year, every new month and every new day we are given the chance to strive for something better. Isolation, lockdown, Covid19 and social distancing are all words we will be sick and tired of hearing right now so lets change the narrative. Let’s make the words, family time, pyjama days, self care and mental space.

Targets for 2021 might be a little different but they are still targets none the less. The question then to ask is, what now?

Read more books.

Exercise more.

Start a new hobby.

Try a bold new look.

Although the possibilities might seem limited they are only hindered by our own imaginations. Despite the challenges, 2021 could still be the best year yet. I do wish you all well and for those of you who are struggling, remember to take care of yourself. Reach out. This digital age we live in makes communication much easier than it ever was.

Stay safe, live well and have a great New Year folks! I’ll see you on the other side.


“How far must a man fall before the climb back up becomes too steep?”

Coming Spring 2021

My Life Changing Event

We all have those moments in life where we are taken on a completely different path. Some life events have the potential to change our points of view and some have the opportunity to wipe us out completely.

With everything going on in the world at the moment it makes me nostalgic. Thinking back I take time to consider those life changing moments. For me it was when I was aged twelve and I was just starting my second year of high school. As per usual I had arrived late and the first session was P.E. Across the road from my high school were playing fields where most of the outdoor classes were held. The few other stragglers and I got dressed into our kits and headed across. Between the school and the playing fields is a very busy road. Already a little shaken by the speed of the traffic and anxious that I was already late I crossed the road and was (perhaps inevitably) knocked down.

I spent months in the hospital recovering from the injuries, watching the opening game of the 1998 World Cup from my bed. Even to this day I don’t remember what happened. All I can go on was the stories told by my family as they were given the news and my school mates who were there to witness the event. The point is that when I came round some weeks later I was in a strange hospital with absolutely no clue as to how I got there. It was strange to not recognise the hospital because as a youngster I had pretty much toured all the medical facilities of the city.

As I recovered I was reminded by the physical pain I was in, the reactions of my loved ones and by the gifts and well wishes I was inundated with that I had come so close to no longer being around. To this day I would have been but a memory of some little girl who had once been part of the family. This sounds really morbid and I do have a morbid fascination with death but In times of trouble or when things get me down I think upon that moment and remind myself that there is still much life left to live. I am still here and as such I can still contribute. It stops me from wasting time and it helps me gain the confidence to reach out when I need help.

So I put it to you to think about those moments that changed you or changed the world around you. Let’s use those moments to push ourselves to do better and to remind us to make the world around us a better place in whatever ways we can.