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Motto In Life

Can you be over prepared?

On a Sunday evening I have a whole host of rituals I go through to make my week ahead more positive and more creative. I write out my to do lists, I tidy, set alarms and check out my clothes for the day ahead. All these little things help give me a restful sleep and by extension a good start to Monday morning filled with coffee, brilliant ideas and a strength that is ready to take on anything.

I have a motto in life. Knowing the little things are taken care of makes you ready for all the big things that might strike. It’s not the prettiest or hard hitting of mottos but it’s one that usually steers me well.

Life gets in the way.

it seems no matter how much you prepare there are natural anxieties that are always get in the way. As the quiet of night set in there were those doubting voices.

“What good are you?”

“Who cares anyway?

“You are nowhere near where you hope to be.”

When you are alone in the dark these voices ring really loudly. You can’t sleep for them because they have caused your adrenaline to rush and your heart won’t slow. You can deny all these doubts but they don’t go away because they are your own doubts and you have to believe them, right?

With the result you finally drift off in the small hours resulting in very little sleep and waking the next morning not only feeling miserable, having battled yourself all night but feeling tired.

It’s okay to doubt.

Everyone faces those self doubts. It is true that we can be our own worst critic. What is most important is how we handle them. Personally, I have had some real self destructive episodes over the years as a result of this. I have also seen loved ones fall foul to it as well. So, now when those niggling voices start to get louder I note to myself three things I am looking forward to doing that day. These don’t have have to be any major events. They can be something simple like taking a walk in the park, or reading a few chapters of a good book or having a chat with a partcular someone.

Knowing the little things are taken care of makes you ready for all the big things that might strike. That is my motto and knowing there are little things to enjoy throughout the day goes a long way to easing the stress.

So I urge you to enjoy the little things. I urge you to ignore those doubts and I hope you all have the best week ahead.


If you have been suffering from anxiety or depression visit mind.org.uk for more information on the support available.


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As a cult deprogrammer, John Reynolds has brought many a lost soul home. When someone close to him joins the Church of St Wigan, every skill he has ever garnered will be called upon to face its zealous leader.  

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The Soundtrack Of Life

I am such a person that I spend a lot of my time stuck inside my own head. I’m either focusing on work, relaxing from work, adding some noise to my surroundings or I’m adding some joviality to a situation. Either way all of these instances involve music. I spend a huge part of my day with headphones on. When I’m trying to focus I use music to drown out all else. When I want to take a walk I put on headphones and can ramble for miles. What better way to keep the boredom of a long train journey at bay than by – yes, you guessed it – putting on headphones. With this in mind it gave me cause to think of the part music plays in all our lives.

What kind of music do you like?

It’s hard to find someone that doesn’t like music. it’s such a varied thing that there is surely something for everyone. From cheesy pop to death metal and everything in between there is a soundtrack for all kinds of situations. I guess that’s why movies and television shows use soundtracks to really capture the mood of the scene. Have you ever taken a scene and given it a different kind of soundtrack? it really changes the tone of the scene. Music can be beautiful audible poetry. It can also offer such lyrical genius as, “Who let the dogs out? Woof, woof, woof woof.” Or, “let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel.” (Probably showing my age with those examples there but you get the point).

What does that song make you think of?

Another thing about music is it can be a great memory trigger. Those carefully constructed notes go a long way to bringing all kinds of images to your head. They can make you remember a person or a place. As you listen along all the other senses are called into action. You can taste it, smell it, feel it. You can see the face of someone you haven’t seen for years as though they are standing right in front of you. For creative writers like myself it’s a great tool for picturing scenes, giving characters their personalities and really locking down what kind of emotion you want a scene to portray. I do this now quite habitually. It was on advice from my fellow writer, great friend and mentor that I do this. He himself is a director and musician so he knows all too well the importance of soundtrack.

Dance to your own tune.

The most important thing about music, for me, is how much it lets you explore. Sure you can be stuck on a crowded train into the city but stick on those headphones you can be transported to a memory of a night out with friends. If you’re at the gym and down want to be distracted by how slow the timer on the treadmill is going you stick on those headphones and suddenly you’ve ran your way through three whole songs. If you are hurt, push play on that song and let it guide your emotions. Music is a wonderful thing I can’t even begin to imagine the cold, silent world we would live in without it. So tell me, what does music do for you?


When, cult deprogrammer, John Reynolds, loses someone close to him to the Church of St Wigan, he will stop at nothing to bring them home. He’ll have to call on every skill he has to pull from the clutches of the zealous church leader. A pandering con man is all he has to help him. How far must a man fall before the climb back up becomes too steep. Praise Wigan!

AVAILABLE MAY 14TH

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Words of Encouragement

Have you ever heard a word and felt inspired by it?

It doesn’t matter what language, how it is said or who says it it is a word that sends your mind into a chain of thought. Words are influential. It’s easy enough for me to appreciate that being someone for whom words are bread and butter but everyone can be inspired them.

When you’re feeling down and you need to pick yourself up what runs through your head but a sequence of words that make you feel better or inspire you to action? If you turn to someone for help what are you looking for from them but their words? Words are what can make or break a situation. Words, after all, are the tools of communication. They are powerful things. In the wrong hands they can be hurtful at the least, destructive at the most.

Bottle.

Bottle is one of my favourite words. It has lots of connotations. It could mean celebration. it could mean refreshment. It could also have a sinister tone to it. We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘bottling up your feelings.’

Either way it always makes me think of a glass bottle in my hand. My mood at the time determines what this bottle contains but it always gives the illusion of something physical to clasp onto. There’s also the proverbial message in a bottle with all kinds of romantic prospects. There’s the adventure. There’s the fun sound of the cork popping and the glug glug glug as liquid is poured. This is just my own example of a favourite word. I’m sure you have your own. Think of that word right now. What is its meaning? What power does it wield? Good, bad, ugly.

On it’s own, one word can be highly charged. Assemble them carefully into a phrase or sentence and they become downright divine.

The cork was popped and the contents of the bottle were poured onto the sand.

Do you get a sense of hopelessness from this? Maybe it can be seen as a new beginning. Personally, I see a struggling alcoholic on a shore taking control of their life. A sea of opportunity lies before them. My point is words paint a picture. When they are thrown around with the intention to hurt they can paint an ugly picture indeed.

Don’t say something you might later regret.

This is a tired old platitude we’ve all heard many times but it still holds some merit and perfectly illustrates my point. Bullying and name calling are just one example of this. Words here are intended to hurt quite deeply and they do. What are arguments if not a carefully constructed formation of words intended to destroy an opponent? Words are filled with emotion and should be considered carefully.

I see, almost everyday, instances online where people have made ‘comments’ with intention to hurt, demean or downright attack. Celebrity culture, dirty politics and easy access to everyone you could ever possibly want to comment on allows this. Not only that it promotes it. People don’t seem to be taking responsibility for those words they are firing like a great cannon. For some it’s as though the don’t even care which target the cannon is aimed at. Complete strangers find themselves throwing in those words deliberately to stir a reaction. Maybe it’s because we’ve had very little face to face contact over the past year and it’s making people bolder with their words but in a world where everyone’s opinion should be valued we need to take some responsibility for the words we use to voice that opinion.

I love you.

I’m going to finish with this phrase because whilst overuse can reduce it’s value it is always nice to hear. It’s always nice to see the look in someone’s eyes when you tell them. Each word has it’s own significance. I – me, myself, my own declaration. Love – one of the strongest emotions experienced as a human being, far surpassing anger or hate. You – this declaration is for you and you alone. I love many things but on this occasion I want you to know. I LOVE YOU.

It’s a nice phrase isn’t it. I’m not much of a romantic soul but I do appreciate the power of words. So what is your word that inspires? If you haven’t thought of one maybe now would be the time to think about it.


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Socially Awkward

The past year has brought challenges for all of us, some challenges we never expected to face in our life time. One of my biggest challenges was being separated from my niece and nephews for such a long time. Normally where I would see them almost every week I became nothing but a pixelated face on a screen. It is tough, I don’t mind telling you. The use of modern technology is great and all but nothing can quite replace human contact.

This got me thinking about society in general. As we become such a distant bunch (global pandemic not withstanding) is the art of intimacy becoming a thing of the past? I call it an art because it really is an art form when you think about it. You need the right approach. You need the right mind set. Like a lot of other art though is it becoming far more digitalised? People are more comfortable sending a text message than chatting on the phone (admittedly myself included).

But then this crazy train we called life pulls into an unexpected platform and the option of physical contact is taking away from us. That’s when we miss it the most. That’s when we crave more than just a text message. Video chats give you the essence of speaking to another person but it is all virtual reality at the end of the day. We need that social contact no matter how introverted you may be.

What I have taken from this experience is that no matter how much we distance ourselves from human contact, when ironically it’s never been easier to connect with fellow human beings, we are all animals at heart. We need our loved ones around us, no matter who that is to us. After a long year of lock down in Scotland I know I will be wanting to hug my little babies.


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Am I the A**hole?

Recently I’ve found a hobby of the ‘Am I the asshole?’ subreddit. If you’re not familiar it’s where people put scenarios they’ve found themselves in and they ask the internet whether they are the asshole or not for whatever it is they’ve done. We all know how much of a forgiving place internet forum comment sections can be but there are those rare gems that actually offer some real insight. That’s not the reason I’m addicted to it though. The addiction comes from getting the popcorn and reading the mightier than thou responses.

Either way it got me thinking of some scenarios in my own life where I may have been the asshole and not realised it. One particular event in mind happened some time back. Someone mentioned his disapproval of James Bond being played by a black woman to me. I explained that 007 was a codename anyway and it didn’t really matter all that much how the character was portrayed as long as the writing was good and the actor fulfilled their role. Sounds reasonable, right? Where I might be the asshole was how I responded. I was already in a foul mood about something else (what that is is irrelevant) and so I snapped. I had no patience for listening to what was no doubt going to be a racist, misogynistic argument against ‘ruining the classics.’ This person had never watched or read anything James Bond so their opinion either way was kind of moot.

So there you have it. I felt I was just making my point. Internet strangers may say I was nipping someone’s head off when they were just offering an opinion.

So what do you think, folks? Was I the asshole? Do you have any instances you would like to put to the court of public internet forum opinion?


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“You cannot be saved!”

Cult deprogrammer is on his way to Hathfield Bay to extract a loved one from the Church of St Wigan.

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time to kill

“All roads lead to the same place in the end.”

A question was posed to me the other day from a friend. If you were told that you only had until the end of the week to live the rest of your life, what would you do?

This isn’t a new question. What we would do with the hypothetical time we have left is something humans have pondered for a long time. However, given just a week, what would I choose do?

First and foremost I would obviously want to see my loved ones. I would want to do everything that makes me happy. Usually I find these are the simple things like my favourite books, movies, walks. A week is not a lot of time and although the big bucket list experiences like sky diving or bungee jumping are great for considering, I believe to make that week the best ever it wouldn’t be spent rushing around trying to find some last minute thrill. It would be found by doing the things that I’ve always done that made me smile.

You don’t have to look far outwith your own surroundings to find those things that are worthwhile. The truth is there isn’t just a week. There is a lifetime. If you want to seek those big thrill bucket list items then now’s your time. Now’s your time to do the things that you’ve always wanted to do. Given the current lock down situation obviously things are limited but you can plan those experiences. You can do all those things you always wanted to do. In the meantime, take a look around yourself. If you had the week how much of what you do now would you still do? Look for the things in your daily life, the small things, that make you smile. They are the most important.


Coming Spring 2021

How far must a man fall before the climb back up becomes too steep?

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So, what now?

“This too shall pass.”

It’s been quite the year, hasn’t it?

For most people this Christmas has been something quite different. For me being unable to see my little niece and nephew has been tough. 2020 will be forever remembered as a year of struggling but I don’t want to dwell on that. What I want to do is look to the future and think of the positive changes that a new year always brings.

Has there been a year like 2020 where we have been able to see just how strong and resiliant we are? Not to my recollection anyway, so with that in mind let’s approach 21 with the knowledge that we are still standing.

Like every new year, every new month and every new day we are given the chance to strive for something better. Isolation, lockdown, Covid19 and social distancing are all words we will be sick and tired of hearing right now so lets change the narrative. Let’s make the words, family time, pyjama days, self care and mental space.

Targets for 2021 might be a little different but they are still targets none the less. The question then to ask is, what now?

Read more books.

Exercise more.

Start a new hobby.

Try a bold new look.

Although the possibilities might seem limited they are only hindered by our own imaginations. Despite the challenges, 2021 could still be the best year yet. I do wish you all well and for those of you who are struggling, remember to take care of yourself. Reach out. This digital age we live in makes communication much easier than it ever was.

Stay safe, live well and have a great New Year folks! I’ll see you on the other side.


“How far must a man fall before the climb back up becomes too steep?”

Coming Spring 2021

My Life Changing Event

We all have those moments in life where we are taken on a completely different path. Some life events have the potential to change our points of view and some have the opportunity to wipe us out completely.

With everything going on in the world at the moment it makes me nostalgic. Thinking back I take time to consider those life changing moments. For me it was when I was aged twelve and I was just starting my second year of high school. As per usual I had arrived late and the first session was P.E. Across the road from my high school were playing fields where most of the outdoor classes were held. The few other stragglers and I got dressed into our kits and headed across. Between the school and the playing fields is a very busy road. Already a little shaken by the speed of the traffic and anxious that I was already late I crossed the road and was (perhaps inevitably) knocked down.

I spent months in the hospital recovering from the injuries, watching the opening game of the 1998 World Cup from my bed. Even to this day I don’t remember what happened. All I can go on was the stories told by my family as they were given the news and my school mates who were there to witness the event. The point is that when I came round some weeks later I was in a strange hospital with absolutely no clue as to how I got there. It was strange to not recognise the hospital because as a youngster I had pretty much toured all the medical facilities of the city.

As I recovered I was reminded by the physical pain I was in, the reactions of my loved ones and by the gifts and well wishes I was inundated with that I had come so close to no longer being around. To this day I would have been but a memory of some little girl who had once been part of the family. This sounds really morbid and I do have a morbid fascination with death but In times of trouble or when things get me down I think upon that moment and remind myself that there is still much life left to live. I am still here and as such I can still contribute. It stops me from wasting time and it helps me gain the confidence to reach out when I need help.

So I put it to you to think about those moments that changed you or changed the world around you. Let’s use those moments to push ourselves to do better and to remind us to make the world around us a better place in whatever ways we can.

Can’t Live Without

“We forget the things we should value the most.

Too busy seeking those shiny things to boast.”

Have you ever been asked what you would find difficult or even impossible to live without if you were stuck on a desert island? No? Well consider this my putting the question to you.

Internet seems to be incredibly important to people these days. It’s a way to research and keep in touch with friends and family so let’s assume for the sake of this pondering that it was taken away. What then? Maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself and the internet is one thing that you would most definitely not live without. After all, whats the point in being on a sun kissed island if you can’t send those snaps to insta? But let’s assume phones, tablets and their ilk are not possible. What then?

PEN and PAPER

Even in this day and age with all the streaming devices I would be content just to have a pen and paper to scribble away. I would document my thoughts, fictional stories or maybe a detailed description of the conversations I’m having with a favoured palm tree on this imaginary island. To me if you are able to do that there is no amount of isolation that could get to you. I’ve always been a weird kid with a nose in a book though.

MUSIC

life on that deserted island would be pretty dull without music, wouldn’t it? I live my life by music. It wakes me up, it follows me throughout the day and it puts me to sleep again. I’m not exactly sure how this would work without modern conveniences to play music on but one way or another I’d need to have music around. Maybe the crashing waves could provide the music …

A WAY TO TELL THE TIME

For as long as I can remember I have always been a little anxious when there is nothing around that is able tell me with some degree of accuracy what time it is. A clock, a watch or even a home made sun dial would be something I would need. Although time keeping is a man made construct and being on a desert island would be an opportunity to learn to not live your life around the clock.

A COMFORTABLE CHAIR

Whether it is for resting, dozing or pondering I would need to have my favourite shady spot. I guess it is in human nature to try and find that little space we can call our own. Give me my comfortable chair and I’ll be content.

THESE GUYS

My niece and my nephew. They are as close to me as my own babies. It would be a struggle to be without them. I guess I’m not as good with isolation as I thought …

So what about you? What would be those things that you just couldn’t live without?


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Inspiring words

“And you ask

What if I fall?

oh but my darling

What if you fly?

Erin Hanson

Words are powerful things, aren’t they? They have the power to put down but they also have the immense potential to lift up. The above quote from a poem by Erin Hanson is one of my absolute favourites. The words are powerful and the message is one that speaks to me. We all have those missed opportunities and to be encouraged to pursue your dreams no matter how scary it seems or how vulnerable it makes you feel is something I will always champion.

“No one is useless in this world that lightens the burden of another.”

Charles Dickens

Not only is Dickens one of the great masters of literature, he is also a passionate speaker for those with little voice. With his masterful story telling techniques he challenged the Victorian elite and opened their eyes to social problems. Knowing this about him makes all of his words more powerful to me and the above quote in particular. Even over two centuries after since his birth the world still needs to be reminded that success in your own pursuits but the importance should lie in what we can do for others. A charitable man, a tremendously talented wordsmith and his words stand the test of time.

“If you can dream it, you can do it.”

Walt Disney

Imagination is such a powerful tool. This is evident when I spend time with my niece and nephew and enjoy how they lose themselves in their imaginations. The world around us can be whatever we want it to be. Our imagination is what would make long lasting and positive changes to our own world and to the greater world too. For the young this is an important reminder but I also think it is just as relevant to those older too. Use your imagination and let a better world fall into place.

“Even the darkest nights will end and the sun will rise.”

Victor Hugo

These words are simple yet capture a sentiment that can be put to so many different things in life. When you struggle or when you are facing tough challenges personally or professionally these words have the power to help you push though. It is a reminder that the world may seem like a scary place sometimes but never forget the sun does eventually return to the skies.

So those are just some of my favourite inspiring quotes. Thanks to the internet there are a whole host of beautiful words out there and with the power to compose, share and inspire let’s use the power of words to help others, imagine the positive impact we can have on the world around us and remember tomorrow brings a new day.

What are some of your favourite quotes?


Vivika Widow is an author of thriller books and graphic novels. Her latest novel HARBOUR HOUSE is available now. The complete season 1 of the Knock Knock graphic novel series is free to read here on Vivika Widow online or download for Kindle Unlimited.

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